Nakiaj1s – Join the Madness

{July 29, 2009}   Easy Women Make Things Hard

The song is “Fuck Every Girl In the World”. And I’m pretty sure it is the dream, no, the GOAL of every heterosexual human male. AND I believe that if it weren’t for physical borders… like oceans…this would be possible in today’s society.

Ladies…we have got to stop making it so easy for men! Until recently I was a part of the problem. I admit it. Admitting it was the first step to my recovery. I had reduced myself to jump-off status by being an easy target for men. My “liberated” attitude toward sex made me say things like “I’m a grown woman. If I want to have commitment free sex with a man I can.” This is true, but it’s also against everything that I want for myself in the long run. And the single act of having sex with ONE man made it hard for at least 20 women to find a good man…except the one who’s with that ONE man I had sex with…of course is he REALLY is a good man if he’s with her and had sex with me? Probably not. But I digress.

The point is, that men have openly (as open as blogs and facebook are) admitted that they don’t find it necessary to be chivalrous, gentleman-like, or even DECENT to a woman because, as they so eloquently put it, “what one won’t do another one will.” And this is not just sexually speaking. Just because you’re giving the bomb blowjobs to your man does NOT mean that he’s not actively cheating with someone who has a better fried chicken recipe. We live in a generation of entitlement. Teenagers feel it’s their birthright to have a cell phone and a game system and will look at you like you’re stupid if you say they should earn it or pay for it themselves. And men feel they are entitled to have a bevy of beautiful, sexually explicit, women to bend to their every whim and take care of them…and then to have a wife/main chick too. The sad thing is…they are getting it!

Women are screaming that there are no good men in the world. That’s not true. What’s true is that there ARE good men in the world; they’re just already with somebody else. And the good ones who are with somebody already are NOT taking on second and third women because…well then they wouldn’t be GOOD men. They’d be cheating bastards.

This unbalance has women compromising their standards and questioning themselves. We ask, “What is wrong with me? Is there something else I should be doing?” We make excuses for men, “It’s hard for a man to be sensitive. He didn’t have a positive role model in the home. He doesn’t know what he wants.” And my favorite is “All men cheat. It’s just in their nature.” Well…he had enough of a role model to tell him he wants a light skinned, longhaired, big butt woman to suck his dick twice a day. Who told him THAT was right? Well he needs to ask that same person how to stand up, pull his mother’s tit out his mouth and his head out of his ass and act like a damn man! I’m sorry to be vulgar but enough is enough!

To remedy this problem one of two things has to happen…and since women can’t cooperate with each other enough to successfully run a BAKE SALE I’m just going to go ahead and say…the ONLY way to fix this is to have more male children. We can only hope to fix things for the next generation of females. We have to re-tip the scales in the favor of the XX chromosomes out there and see to it that there are more men than women. Then males will have to go back to competing. That’s the problem. All the competition is among women. Men don’t have to have a better job than the next guy. OR be more handsome than the next guy (I mean..HOW many women are pregnant by Lil’ Wayne right now?…ummm. yeah). OR have any better asset than the next guy. Men have it too easy. They are able to be selective and say, your weave isn’t right…NEXT. Your sex isn’t hot enough anymore…NEXT. She will buy me a Playstation so you get…NEXT.

If we force men to step up their games they will. If they can’t act like a scrub and STILL get a woman they WILL stop acting like a scrub. But as long there are women who will put up with his jobless ass he will continue to be a jobless ass! We allow men to treat us in ways, and do things that we don’t allow our children to do. If our children make a mess, we tell them to clean it up. Yet we follow behind our men, picking up their Coogi and Jordans. Everyday our kids get up and go to school while our men sit at home waiting for dinner.

It has to end. JUST STOP!! Stop allowing sub-par men to get a hole in one!


{June 22, 2009}   Is That What Friends Are For?


Is That What Friends Are For?

Women have problems being honest with themselves about their relationships. We are loaded full of advice for our sisters and sister-friends, but when it comes time to turn the compass inward we are most often thrown off course. Sometimes it’s fear that blinds us, sometimes it’s our failure to recognize or accept faults in ourselves. Whatever it is that keeps us from fessing up to our faults it is very important to be able to turn to someone loving and honest, AND to be able to accept their advice and guidance.

Unfortunately we all know what it is like to see something bad happening in another woman’s relationship, and to feel helpless to say anything about it. Maybe the last time you told your girlfriend her man was cheating she turned on you and snapped, “What do YOU know about my man! You’re just jealous because you don’t have a man of your own.” These are the same women who have children that become criminals and just can’t believe that they’re baby boy robbed the bank; in spite of the DNA evidence, video surveillance, and the fact that she was standing in the lobby when he did it. I get it. No one likes to hear bad news about someone they care about. And no one likes to be the last to know…or in the case of a cheating man, third to know at best. So as the friend of the cheated-on friend we clam up and say nothing. Or we drop hints, “Girl, when’s the last time you spent the night at HIS place?” or “Why does he ask you to duck every time you drive by THAT particular house?” We do all we can to make our friends aware without becoming the enemy.

I am not a person who has a lot of friends. I don’t have the patience to nurture[1] that many relationships. But I like to be honest with the few I call my friends…on both sides of the equation. I will offer advice to those I feel will listen, and I am open with admitting “No matter what you say, I’m just going to do what I’m going to do.” Most of the time I do take advice from my best friends. It’s hard to hear sometimes and listening as they speak makes me feel a little bit like a child. But I know that the people that I keep closest around me have my best interest in mind. Shouldn’t we all have that much faith in someone we call friend?

[1] Coming soon: Friends-How Many of Us Have Them and How Many Do We REALLY Need.

{May 7, 2009}   If I Was Your Girlfriend

Relationships are very complicated today. There used to be a time when the “Do you like me, yes or no” was really all you needed to determine if you were dating someone or not. Add in something definitive like a class ring or a varsity jacket and there you are, “going steady”. Now we have dating, friends with benefits, in a relationship, it’s complicated, engaged (with no date in site), married but dating, divorced but living together and my favorite “kickin it”.

The definitions for any of these statuses are almost completely dependent on who you ask. Take me for instance. I am currently “kickin it” with a very nice young man. But to ask my 5 year old son (and quite frankly ME) he is my boyfriend. Just today I was on the phone with my “it’s complicated” in the car on the way to drop off my son . After I hung up he sang, “mommy has a boyfriend.” Almost as if my complication was in the room I quickly said “he’s not my boyfriend”. I don’t allow just any old men to meet my children. There will be no “uncle” so and so hanging around my house. So MY reason for not claiming this person as my boyfriend is for the protection of my children. But….kids are not stupid. So my son informed me that, undeniably, this man IS in fact my boyfriend. He said, “But you talk to him on the phone? He comes over? You go on dates?” In my head I added, “and we have sex and are supposedly monogamous.

Son’s logic: If it walks like a duck, quacks like a duck then uh……it’s your boyfriend.

So here’s the thing… any relationship status that is neither here nor there is an excuse. You either are or you aren’t. The idea of “kickin it” and “friends with benefits” is merely an OUT should what I call a “terminal event” occur. For example…

  1. If you catch the man you are kickin it with out (or in) with another woman and snap on him, chances are he will retaliate with “there’s no ring on my finger. We’re just kickin it.”
  2. If you want to go to a movie, vacation, shopping trip or other capital investment opportunity and the person you are friends with benefitting does not want to pay, he will likely remind you that you two are just friends.
  3. When it’s playoff time and he’d rather spend time with his boys than spend the night at your place, instead of saying he needs some “me time” he will probably start an argument and say something charming like “you’re acting like you’re my girlfriend or something!” My advice to you, is to remind him of that the next time he gets that song “Slob on my Knob” stuck in his head and wants you to “get it out”.

Men are opportunist, and if they get the opportunity to have their cake and eat it too they will most likely jump right on it. And anything short of declaring you to be his woman and accepting the responsibility to behave himself like a dating, engaged or married man is just his way of keeping YOU from having any sweets of your own while he is free to browse the buffet. So…you can either sit at home and wait for him to get full of you and then go on a diet, OR you too can eat, drink and be merry.

Bon appetite girls!

et cetera