Nakiaj1s – Join the Madness











{June 22, 2009}   Is That What Friends Are For?

girl_fight

Is That What Friends Are For?

Women have problems being honest with themselves about their relationships. We are loaded full of advice for our sisters and sister-friends, but when it comes time to turn the compass inward we are most often thrown off course. Sometimes it’s fear that blinds us, sometimes it’s our failure to recognize or accept faults in ourselves. Whatever it is that keeps us from fessing up to our faults it is very important to be able to turn to someone loving and honest, AND to be able to accept their advice and guidance.

Unfortunately we all know what it is like to see something bad happening in another woman’s relationship, and to feel helpless to say anything about it. Maybe the last time you told your girlfriend her man was cheating she turned on you and snapped, “What do YOU know about my man! You’re just jealous because you don’t have a man of your own.” These are the same women who have children that become criminals and just can’t believe that they’re baby boy robbed the bank; in spite of the DNA evidence, video surveillance, and the fact that she was standing in the lobby when he did it. I get it. No one likes to hear bad news about someone they care about. And no one likes to be the last to know…or in the case of a cheating man, third to know at best. So as the friend of the cheated-on friend we clam up and say nothing. Or we drop hints, “Girl, when’s the last time you spent the night at HIS place?” or “Why does he ask you to duck every time you drive by THAT particular house?” We do all we can to make our friends aware without becoming the enemy.

I am not a person who has a lot of friends. I don’t have the patience to nurture[1] that many relationships. But I like to be honest with the few I call my friends…on both sides of the equation. I will offer advice to those I feel will listen, and I am open with admitting “No matter what you say, I’m just going to do what I’m going to do.” Most of the time I do take advice from my best friends. It’s hard to hear sometimes and listening as they speak makes me feel a little bit like a child. But I know that the people that I keep closest around me have my best interest in mind. Shouldn’t we all have that much faith in someone we call friend?


[1] Coming soon: Friends-How Many of Us Have Them and How Many Do We REALLY Need.

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Teresa says:

Agreed! 🙂



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