Nakiaj1s – Join the Madness

{May 7, 2009}   If I Was Your Girlfriend

Relationships are very complicated today. There used to be a time when the “Do you like me, yes or no” was really all you needed to determine if you were dating someone or not. Add in something definitive like a class ring or a varsity jacket and there you are, “going steady”. Now we have dating, friends with benefits, in a relationship, it’s complicated, engaged (with no date in site), married but dating, divorced but living together and my favorite “kickin it”.

The definitions for any of these statuses are almost completely dependent on who you ask. Take me for instance. I am currently “kickin it” with a very nice young man. But to ask my 5 year old son (and quite frankly ME) he is my boyfriend. Just today I was on the phone with my “it’s complicated” in the car on the way to drop off my son . After I hung up he sang, “mommy has a boyfriend.” Almost as if my complication was in the room I quickly said “he’s not my boyfriend”. I don’t allow just any old men to meet my children. There will be no “uncle” so and so hanging around my house. So MY reason for not claiming this person as my boyfriend is for the protection of my children. But….kids are not stupid. So my son informed me that, undeniably, this man IS in fact my boyfriend. He said, “But you talk to him on the phone? He comes over? You go on dates?” In my head I added, “and we have sex and are supposedly monogamous.

Son’s logic: If it walks like a duck, quacks like a duck then uh……it’s your boyfriend.

So here’s the thing… any relationship status that is neither here nor there is an excuse. You either are or you aren’t. The idea of “kickin it” and “friends with benefits” is merely an OUT should what I call a “terminal event” occur. For example…

  1. If you catch the man you are kickin it with out (or in) with another woman and snap on him, chances are he will retaliate with “there’s no ring on my finger. We’re just kickin it.”
  2. If you want to go to a movie, vacation, shopping trip or other capital investment opportunity and the person you are friends with benefitting does not want to pay, he will likely remind you that you two are just friends.
  3. When it’s playoff time and he’d rather spend time with his boys than spend the night at your place, instead of saying he needs some “me time” he will probably start an argument and say something charming like “you’re acting like you’re my girlfriend or something!” My advice to you, is to remind him of that the next time he gets that song “Slob on my Knob” stuck in his head and wants you to “get it out”.

Men are opportunist, and if they get the opportunity to have their cake and eat it too they will most likely jump right on it. And anything short of declaring you to be his woman and accepting the responsibility to behave himself like a dating, engaged or married man is just his way of keeping YOU from having any sweets of your own while he is free to browse the buffet. So…you can either sit at home and wait for him to get full of you and then go on a diet, OR you too can eat, drink and be merry.

Bon appetite girls!


{May 6, 2009}   Greetings people of Earth!

picture-2111Finally, a place that I can go and just blab on about a bunch of nothing. Literally blog. Usually these will be odd complaints or simple musings about nothing. Occassionally I will have some interesting photos or tidbits to put out, but mostly just a bunch of rambling until I get myself organized. In the meantime, enjoy whatever you may find here. I know my twitter followers will be glad to have a few less posts to deal with now that I have the new outlet.

I’m at work now, and surrounded by people (who generally annoy me) so be prepared for a post reeeaaalllll sooooon.


et cetera